Most Annoying Song Ever? Genesis "I Can't Dance"

I was never a huge Genesis fan.  Sure, I dug the occasional tune here and there; "Abacab", "Turn It On Again", and "Man On The Corner" to name a few, but the idea of buying an actual Genesis album just never crossed my mind because, despite their occasional hit, they remained a prog-band at heart.  Having said that, I did buy (and still own) the first Phil Collins solo album, Face Value, based solely on the fact that it includes "In The Air Tonight".  To this day, the utter simplicity of that song just absolutely destroys me and I never get tired of listening to it.

"I Can't Dance", on the other hand, is what it happens when a band realizes that the public will buy anything they throw at the wall.  Phil Collins, as a solo artist and member of Genesis, was knocking 'em out of the park left and right.  Heck, even his collaborations with Frida ("I Know There's Something Going On"), Marilyn Martin ("Separate Lives" (Love Theme from 'White Nights')), and Philip Bailey ("Easy Lover").

Of course, he also earned major bonus points from me for singlehandedly rescuing Adam Ant's second solo effort, Strip, which is completely unlistenable save for the two songs Collins produced and played drums on, "Puss & Boots" and the title cut.



It's only human nature after that much success to think anything you write is a masterpiece and my hunch is that band mates Rutherford and Banks were not about to tell Collins any different.  He'd no doubt done wonders for their bank accounts, why rock the boat?

Still, I wish somebody had had the guts to tell Phil that "I Can't Dance" was best left on the back burner.  As it stands, Collins and the boys decided to make it the centerpiece to their 1991 album We Can't Dance.  You can tell from the stripped down production that Collins was trying to recapture the "genius through simplicity" approach that had made "in The Air Tonight" such a masterpiece, but this time the results were just too campy for my taste.  Every time Collins hits that scruffy, strained "I can't dance, I can't sing", whether it be in the car or at the grocery store, I want to see how many Q-tips I can shove into my ears.

Of course, the song would go on to be a Top 10 hit single, with MTV playing the video relentlessly, but it would be the last Top 10 Genesis would ever have.  I believe that to be the result of Genesis finally wearing out their welcome with this insanely annoying song.

Beatlemaniac Alert: Abbey Road Instrumental In Its Entirety

This is a must for anyone who thinks there is nothing new to be found in a bunch of 30-year-old Beatle tracks.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=G5CGVOQP

Big Country Are Back!

Oddly enough, I was driving around town listening to The Cult's great album, Love, and saying to myself that Big Country drummer Mark Brzezicki was a huge part of why that album rocked so hard.  It then got me wondering what Brzezicki was up to these days.  I mean, a drummer that good should always have a gig, as far as I'm concerned.

Before I could do a Google search, I got a press release in my email that announced the RETURN OF BIG COUNTRY.

Ugh, I thought to myself...and gathered the strength to read on just to see who they'd wrangled to replace original singer Stuart Adamson.

Turns out Mike Peters from The Alarm is singing for the band.  That's probably the best possible candidate I could imagine for the gig.  While I don't imagine that the rock world will ever get too excited about a Big Country reunion, I think the surviving members of the band have a right to play on and their choice of Peters as their new singer shows me that they're gonna do it with some class.


For now, just a few UK shows have been scheduled, but one can't help hope that the band gets around to doing some US shows.

Check their website for more info.

Music These Days...meh.

When I started this blog back in the late 60's, okay, more like 2006, there was sooooo much music to write about.  There were still hundreds, if not thousands of bands that had never been given their just due and the blogosphere was the perfect place to celebrate such bands.  Along the way, I have shared a metric shit-ton of great music with my readers, made some super-cool friends, and had a lot of fun.

But I never thought I'd see the day where I just didn't want to write about music anymore.  The love is still there, although the flame doesn't burn as bright and hot as it once did, but I can't help wonder what's the use?  I feel like some poor guy might feel whose trying to convince a bunch of kids who've just seen The Beatles on Ed Sullivan that jazz is really where it's at.

For the past couple decades, there have been many who have proclaimed that "Rock Is Dead", but there was always at least one cool new band who was doing it right to make us believe that such proclamations were premature.  Heck, even in 2010, I have found more than a few new bands to hang my hat, and my hopes for the future, upon.

But there I was at one of my favorite night spots last weekend.  As usual, the DJ played tons of cool rock stuff that provided just the right background noise for a myriad of conversations going on around the room.  This is what I love about this place, what keeps me coming back as often as I can, and, on this night, what made me decide to hang around a little later than usual.

Maybe I was too into my conversation, or my beer, to notice, but the next time I looked up, the vibe of the entire room had changed.  For one thing, I could no longer hear the person I'd been conversing with, much less my own thoughts.  As the crowd became a virtual showcase of the latest bling and chest-thumping, the music became an endless barrage of profanity with a beat.

Is this what constitutes "music" these days, or is this just the noise-of-choice for a tone-deaf generation that has nothing to say, so why not drown out whatever they might have to say with the latest Jay-Z joint?  No fear of anyone humming this in the shower, that much is for sure.

When I was young, music was the stuff you hung your memories on.  How can anyone hang a memory on belligerent boasts spewed by morons who can't go five seconds without clutching their nut sack?  "Yo, yo, yo, I was punchin' out a bitch/Because she gave me head and then my balls began to itch!"

Just a suggestion, homie, but you may wanna stop "singin'" and have that looked at.

Of course, I'd have been just as upset if it had been Arcade Fire or Katy Perry that was being so forcefully rammed down my throat.  Such artists seem to so earnestly insist themselves upon the world, but have nothing new to say.  So you kissed a girl and liked it.  Welcome to my world, honey!  The Beatles insisted themselves upon no one.  They sang and, in the span of two minutes, changed the world.  These days, not a week goes by without some orchestrated revolution that falls on deaf ears.  There is a generation so empty, so hollow that they think each new thing is it, man.  "This is our Beatles", they say upon seeing Justin Bieber lip-sync.  "We have seen the future", they proclaim, "and it looks a lot like Lady Gaga's butt, which isn't all that great of a butt.  We've seen old ladies with better butts at the gym, but please don't try to take this from us.  We need this.  Please."

Okay, fine, you can have this one.  Just turn it down so I can hear myself think, okay?

Ten TV Shows I Just Don't Freakin' Get. At All. Seriously.

Sure, I could tell you what shows I currently like, but, well, it would be a pretty short list and, plus, going off on stuff is a whole lot more fun.

LOUIE

If I had a nickel for every pal who has told me how great this show is, and that I should watch it, I would have exactly twenty-five cents.  Being the curious sort, and respecting them enough to give the show a chance, I checked out the first few episodes and was left scratching my head, wondering how on earth this could be considered "hilarious", "ground-breaking", or "essential television", as the reviews would like me to believe.

I do get the distinct feeling that this show is much like "The Office" and "Arrested Development" - shows that people watch for the sole purpose of telling other people, whom they consider cool, and then basking in each other's coolness around the water cooler, or Facebook page, or whatever.  Meh.

THE BIG BANG THEORY

Holy moly, when I first heard about the premise of this show, my first thought was that there was no way in HELL that the writers could come up with enough material for more than three episodes.  Of course, I was right on the freakin' money, but that hasn't stopped CBS from squeezing out three freakin' seasons of absolute crap.  The depiction of such nerd stereotypes isn't funny, the girl isn't that cute, and the dialogue is an insult to the craft of screenwriting.  Other than that, the show is fine.

PAWN STARS

When I found out that people actually take their vacation in Vegas so they can block traffic in hopes of catching a fleeting glimpse of one of the dopey "stars" of this ridiculous reality show based around a real-life pawn shop in Las Vegas, I almost choked on my chimichanga.  What pawn shop even thinks about buying a WWII airplane and "fixing it up"?  A stupid one.   

RESCUE ME

Why is this show still on?  Seriously, somebody kill Tommy (Dennis Leary).  Either that or have him start bangin' some other broad, as I'm tired of looking at his wife and that other chick he's been hate-banging for what seems an eternity.  Fer cryin' out loud.

KATE PLUS EIGHT

Oh look, Kate has a new hair style, better film another season.  This time around, she gets to play the martyr and look sad and, oh yeah, rake in millions while others actually have to work for a living.  That so many women continue to look up to this woman as some sort of role model makes me not like those particular women AT ALL.  Even the hot ones.

AMERICAN CHOPPER: JUNIOR VS. SENIOR

I wanted to give this show a chance, but the bloom is so far off the rose, it isn't funny.  Senior is knocking out cookie cutter bikes in exchange for having his website redesigned, or for some lame-ass welding equipment they don't need while Junior stands around waiting for his next check from TLC.  Gone are the days of doing bikes for big-name clients like Bill Murray and the US Army, but, hey, the diner down the street will trade the guys at OCC a couple Denver omelettes for one of their McChoppers.

IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA

What is it with this show? Every time I'm flipping through the channels and land on Comedy Channel for a few seconds when this show happens to be on, it's always when one of them is dry-humping a wooden indian, or vomiting something they shouldn't have eaten in the first place, or some other dumb shit that isn't funny. Sadly, I have friends who swear by this show, making me wonder whether they just have poor taste in TV shows, or I just have poor taste in friends.

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER?

I rank this one right up there with "The Big Bang Theory" as one of those shows that just keeps on going and going and going, season after season, despite having not one single likable character on it. Seriously, I am so over Doogie Howser being all grown up. That they have him playing a straight guy is an insult to both straight and gay guys. Every time I see this show, I just remember running into Patrick at the Orleans casino and wondering what the fuck he was doing there. I mean, the place is a total hang out for ghetto rats and whatnot. Whatever, I drove four hours from L.A. to play me some $1 bowling after midnight, not wonder what Doogie's doing there.

ANY SHOW ON FOX NEWS

Seriously, they should just call it the "Network For Stroke Victims And The Easily Misled". Not one single ounce of goodness is to be found on anything this network has to offer. I remember being a kid and feeling sad for all those Russians whose only source of news was Pravda, a newspaper run by the Communist Party. What Russians got wasn't so much truth, but what the Communist Party wanted the citizens of Russia to think was true. At the time, I thought how superior we Americans were that we could see through such spoon-fed lies. Sadly, I was wrong.

THE OFFICE

Ha ha, I get it. It's a show that takes place in an office where the boss is a self-absorbed horse's ass and everyone else is cute and quirky and reminds you of someone you work with, whatever. It still ain't funny. Never was, never will be. Please, God, now that Steve Carell is leaving, somebody take this show out back and shoot it. No, I don't mean "shoot" it as in "shoot more episodes". I mean, shoot it in the head, then shoot it a couple more times, right between the eyes, just to be sure.